Reduced to Tears

I'm so exhausted. This cold has finally taken all of Lily's energy and mine. She won't eat; she's crying a lot; seizures are on attack. If I had a basket of what a mommy can handle, having a child with TSC makes that basket already 3/4 full, so a cold, an ear infection, all can just weigh you down so heavy. With my husband gone for two weeks, I am doing all of the lifting...34 wiggly pounds up and down the stairs and my back is killing me. If she would cling on to me, I could prop her on my hip, but she doesn't. I have good days and bad days like any mom, but sometimes feel alone in having someone understand that a cold for Lily is different. If I can't get her to eat, how will I get the 11 pills down in the morning? She can't cough and so she gags and gags and almost lost her seizure meds this morning.  If her fever spikes, seizures run rampant. She's also still like a baby and doesn't understand, and so she cries and cries and cries. She's also having diarrhea from the antibiotic that is for her ear infection so blankets, clothes, everything keeps getting poop on it. Maybe I should just keep the plastic gloves on. Ok, that's funny. I had a good cry. I vented. Now, to pick myself back up and keep on moving forward.